Now that I’m king of the Ben Morrison hill I’ll describe the virtual Fallujah It’s been getting here. We Ben Morrisons are a cunning group, and I’ve battled, and still battle, with a motley bunch of digital Ben Morrisons. They are as diverse as they are deceptive, among them a 16-year-old violin prodigy, the Ben Morrison Rhododendron, and long-time foe Reading based web designer and developer, Ben Morrison, to name a few.
Although I am impressed it made it up there in the first place, the Rhododendron was the first to go. “How,” you ask, “Can a Rhododendron be so popular?” “Well,” I answer, “For a little while there, the Ben Morrison Rhododendron was funnier than the Ben Morrison Comedian.” My life was a mess back then, and I vividly remember Googling myself and feeling trapped beneath the Rhododendron of my name. But, life grows the willing, and as dark gave to light, I grew taller in the rankings and saw how beautiful its petals actually were. I walked on peacefully, crushing nothing but it’s score.
A much greater adversary, 16-year-old violin prodigy Ben Morrison waits in the wings. Two years ago he released a self-titled CD entitled Debut (two tracks of which were recorded with the Royal Scots Dragooon Guards), and I’ve been doing battle with his vicious bow ever since. He’s a quiet and cunning foe, icy eyes issue a direct challenge to any who would share his name, and now that I have overtaken it, I must be doubly cautious. I will not let him out of my periphery, as he sits from behind his horse-hair lash, growing older and more talented by the minute. I have fought his CD for two years now, and we shall not forget our lessons when he releases his second. He also “Won the 2002 Chamber Music School Music Contest and has performed at many concerts". Watch him play.
And now we come to the Kingfish, Joker to my Batman, Reading-based Web-Designer Ben Morrison. A self-described "Motivated hard-worker with a logical and innovative work approach", we can see from Ben Morrison’s recently Flash-enabled website that his new approach to work probably includes crushing me. He has many charts, charts that spell one thing, trouble. While I found his old site cluttered, his new site, complete with “digital silhouette” worries me straight. It’s an impressive portfolio of work including The Parachute Club and Attitude, to name a few. Reading on I discovered that in addition to being a talented designer he's unfortunetly a good human working regularly with “recovering alcoholics in the UK and AIDS orphans in the South Africa”. I’ve never even seen an AIDS orphan. Ben Morrison, you’re good.
But not good enough.
And so my shaky grasp of the top continues. Like a king suspicious of his court, I wake every day preparing to be usurped. Especially if that fucker releases his second album. But until then, tell your friends, www.benmorrison.org... www.benmorison.org... www.benmorrison.ooooorrrrggg....
