An oldie but goodie ... (pic)

"Genius Bar" doesn't quite work. "Socially Awkward Bar", or, "Virgin
Bar" seem to fit better...

Ugly people in this town are fucked.

Watch my old friend Mark Malkoff get literally carried from one end of
Manhattan to the other. I love this crazy bastard :
http://ping.fm/Lc43O

My bed is like a warm vagina.

Commercials are so unrealistic. I've never even been to a salt-flat,
and if I was I certainly wouldn't be pulling doughnuts in my Altima.

I really need to put different music on my iPod. It's like hanging out
with old friends that bore me.

I just drank a 5-Hour Energy and took a 2-hour nap in 20 minutes.

Panda Express has one Japanese chick and 50 Mexicans working there.
She's the panda, they're the express.

Ahh JM Eagle, you always know how to handle the ladies.

Taco Bell's new adds describe their new burrito as "beefy". I'm not
sure I'm comfortable with beef being used as an adjective.

Tonight 1/26 - I am at the Improv Comedy Lab for this super-important audition thing. 10:00. Got free tickets. Email comps@benmorrison.org for comps. i'll rsvp like a vip.

As much as I think I can find what I want, it really is much quicker
to ask when in Radio Shack.

Mortgage FAIL

I am performing @ MINDSHARE tonight - it's like TED with booze and
DJs. Very fun. For info any special $10 TIX click here :
http://ping.fm/ZoTsp

Mindshare tonight. It's like TED, with booze and DJs.

Can't read the email? View it HERE.

Well hello again people who have not yet unsubscribed. Tonight I am honored to be taking the stage at Mindshare LA – a wonderful event bringing the best in intellegentsia together for a night of learning, laughing,  and drinking. There will be lectures from all sorts of fantastically educated people, and copious alcahol and me doing my multimedia thing. Oh yeah, and I got $10 tickets for you (USE CODE “VIP201″ AT CHECKOUT FOR DISCOUNT - normally tix are $30!). It’s going to be amazing, and so, so much more fun than being wet. TIX AND INFO @ http://mindshare.eventbrite.com/ PROGRAM FOR JANUARY 21st: Jim Bell / Cornell Astronomy Professor & President of the Planetary Society Mars Exploration Rover: Postcards from Mars Sasha Strauss / founder of Innovation Protocol & prof. in USC’s school of communications Social Cachet and the Perils of Celebrity Endorsement Andrea  Gunschera / Executive Creative Director, Realtime Technology AG The Flexibility of Reality We’ll also be showcasing the talents of: Gabriela Garcia Medina / Spoken Word Artist  & Award Winning Poet Ben Morrison / Humorist We’re excited to annouce that after last month’s success, we’ll be holding Mindshare once again at the Downtown Independant theater – and feel free to skip dinner, we’ll have The Flying Pig food tuck there all night!.. There will be a cash bar with reasonably priced beer and wine. If you want a whisky, you’ll be able to go next door to the Jalisco mariachi bar The surrounding blocks are safe to walk and there’s a number of lots, as well as street parking. As usual, car pooling is encouraged. PARKING SPONSOR: BrandX, the stylish weekly magazine that tells you what’s happening around Los Angeles, is providing parking for our event! The address of the garage is 213 S. Spring St., on Spring between 2nd and 3rd. Entrance is on West side of Spring St. Just say you’re “with Mindshare”! See more details here.. Join the mailing list here for updates… IN THE PRESS Mindshare's ballooning popularity is emblematic of generation steeped in chaos and an unabashed need for personal fulfillment. If you ever come to LA, come to Mindshare. –Fast Company If you haven’t been to a Mindshare LA event, you haven’t seen Angelenos at their eclectic best. –FlavorPill A forward-thinking cultural salon.  New ideas flow as liberally as the alcohol. –Brand X This is what it would be like if the internet jumped out of the box and grabbed your arm for a trip into Alice’s Wonderland of ideas and madmen. –KCET Online (LA PBS affiliate) A forum for human technology in its most literal form – shared knowledge.  Fueled by fancy pastries, an exceptionally well-stocked open bar and a room abuzz with stylish people. –LA Weekly PROGRAM FOR JANUARY 21st: Jim Bell / Cornell Astronomy Professor & President of the Planetary Society    Mars Exploration Rover: Postcards from Mars Sasha Strauss / founder of Innovation Protocol & prof. in USC’s school of communicationsSocial Cachet and the Perils of Celebrity Endorsement Andrea  Gunschera / Executive Creative Director, Realtime Technology AGThe Flexibility of Reality We’ll also be showcasing the talents of: Gabriela Garcia Medina / Spoken Word Artist  & Award Winning Poet Ben Morrison / Humorist We’re excited to annouce that after last month’s success, we’ll be holding Mindshare once again at the Downtown Independant theater – and feel free to skip dinner, we’ll have The Flying Pig food tuck there all night!..There will be a cash bar with reasonably priced beer and wine. If you want a whisky, you’ll be able to go next door to the Jalisco mariachi bar The surrounding blocks are safe to walk and there’s a number of lots, as well as street parking. As usual, car pooling is encouraged. PARKING SPONSOR: BrandX, the stylish weekly magazine that tells you what’s happening around Los Angeles, is providing parking for our event! The address of the garage is 213 S. Spring St., on Spring between 2nd and 3rd. Entrance is on West side of Spring St. Just say you’re “with Mindshare”! See more details here..Join the mailing list here for updates… IN THE PRESSMindshare's ballooning popularity is emblematic of generation steeped in chaos and an unabashed need for personal fulfillment. If you ever come to LA, come to Mindshare.–Fast Company If you haven’t been to a Mindshare LA event, you haven’t seen Angelenos at their eclectic best. –FlavorPill A forward-thinking cultural salon.  New ideas flow as liberally as the alcohol.–Brand X This is what it would be like if the internet jumped out of the box and grabbed your arm for a trip into Alice’s Wonderland of ideas and madmen.–KCET Online (LA PBS affiliate) A forum for human technology in its most literal form – shared knowledge.  Fueled by fancy pastries, an exceptionally well-stocked open bar and a room abuzz with stylish people.–LA Weekly

UNSUBSCRIBE HERE

"Hi I'm here for some ethical drugs."

This is a picture showing just some of the cannabis clubs here in Los
Angeles. Despite it's people, this is a fantastic place to live and
this is only one of those reasons.

It's high time.

Yeah, this guy's handicapped... : http://imgur.com/bpUeJ

I'm at Zanzibar in Santa Mon and my boy DJ Life is tearin it up.
Google him and funk on.

Freestyle 3
I am tpain is the best app evah. Give a listen.

My iPhone is beautiful yet AT&T makes it unusable. Like dating a
Victorias Secret model with severe facial burns.

So Crapital One is raising my trusty 5% APR to 30. Yes. 30. Anyone out
there have a CC they like?

You know you're a fatass when...

Please donate to Haitian earthquake relief - it's too easy not too. Donate via Save The Children NOW pls : http://ping.fm/ShVCQ

Cable is the new CD.

And I STILL love Win7. Feel like the winner of "The Biggest Loser". Same me, so much less fat.

I love being a nerd.

I'm gonna start putting things in my mouth more.

Mike Judge forgive me, but Extract sucks real hard.

This is what happens when trees use coke.

You're right sign, I AM going to rob that 7-11!

Trader Joe's is the only place you're encouraged to be an employee
during checkout.

If you're a crazy ranting lunatic with an invisible boyfriend who you're loudly arguing with, then by all means, hang outside my apartment.

Your right sign, I AM going to rob that 7-11.

According to the locker at Bally's Bloods are "Ok".

THIS is why people don't like Texas.

Wish me luck...

Never, never mess with a brother :
http://ping.fm/NKgcL

AT&T SUCKS HARDER THAN A DYSON. PLEASE PASS ALONG.

I took this in the bathroom of Jim Hensen studios.

Men are idiots, sorry... : http://ping.fm/KEYoq

AT&T Wireless is truly a FAIL of a company.

I always use so much 1-Ply toilet-paper it might as well be 2-ply.

I'm back baby. I'm so back. Back in my living room.

Adds for Jamacian rum really get to the point...

Im sure this is what James Cameron had in mind...

Once again NYC gets the award for best Graffiti.

Took this in NYC. Kind of looks like the Tenth Street Tots are running
from a fire doesn't it?

"Oh man all this being obese is really wearing me out..."

I am deep, deep inside the nerd cave.