It takes a lot of balls to say that In the title, the very pursuit of
playing this game, is trivial.

From one year to the next.

And time passes.

You get older.

Dreams turn into realities, or regret.

Lighters are lost. Pencils are found. Jeans rip and fall apart. Or look awesome.

You will fight becoming your parents, and cherish that you have them to become.

You will make a lot of money once, and a little money most of the time, and all of the time you will wish you were doing better. Even when you are.

Your friends will continue to become exactly what you thought they would be when you met them, and your enemies will be just as confused as you are, but seriously, who needs enemies at this age?

You will have profound moments of connection and even more profound moments of detachment, and somewhere in between is the great truth that hopefully you're not too selfish to see, which I am still working on and am getting better at. I hope.

But more than anything, life will continue, and it doesn't really matter if you're on board or not, but it’s a lot more fun if you are. And one day you'll wake up and realize that you have a story, and a path, and this realization is part of both of those. And all of these things are as certain as the night that makes you wonder about them and the most you can hope for is a smile when you look back at the pile of it all. That and someone to smile with.

Thank you all for being on this journey with me. As I have been on yours.

How very Neverending Story.

Peace for us all at the end of this year, peace for us all in the year to come.

That and an iPhone.

-Ben

Kevin atop the World Trade Center in Home Alone 2.

Super. 90s. Moment.

I've come to a point in my adulthood where its time I go public with
my love of Coldplay. "Clocks" is a very emotional song. And I, am a
very emotional person.

YRADOUCHE

In first class they play Michael Bolton.

I know so little about sports that whenever sports are on I find
myself not watching the game but trying to remember enough facts I
that I don't sound like a complete wimp when talking to other guys
later.

And in this dream we all pulled up to the great green lawn of Harley Davidson frat with which to pledge. Walking with my small group into a small room in the front of their huge brick mansion, we all sat in a room and waited. Idle chat was made. These people did not seem like the type of people I wanted to spend four years with while attending the blurry college I might have been dreaming about.

The group argued and jockeyed and after awhile a woman entered and gave us a talking to. I did not like her I thought, and when she was done, I asked the group if anyone was considering leaving. Out of the 15, only one other raised their hand.

I, and the other, waited infront of the mansion for a ride back to the train station or parking lot or campus or wherever my mind had placed me for this dream. A man in a cooper mini pulled up and the other got in the back seat and I in the front. He whipped it left between two brick dividers and I said “Holy shit this thing corners well”. “Corners well at thirty”, he calmly said, ”body’s so light it’s easy”.

As he drove us towards the exit I looked left and on the great green lawn of the Harley Davidson frat, a massive barbecue was going on. Drinks. Food. I even saw the group of people I came in with. But I still knew I needed to leave. And when this group saw us driving past they began to bay at the ignorance of our flight. I pumped my hand as one would a trucker and did not look them in the eye.

And getting dropped off at the train station or parking lot or campus, I had a vision and the vision was this: a heavy-set girl, riding a horse, jousting with a bull. And as she rode towards it time slowed down, and as each hoof hit the ground bringing her closer to the white horns of the bull, she knew this fate was worth it. And as the horn struck her it plunged deep into her skin and snapped off creating a halo of blood on her t-shirt, which had a target silkscreened on the front. And before she fell, I saw five other horns lodged in her chest, she had done this before.

And as her blood hit the grass the image seemed to dance, to vibrate to the music my brain played behind it.

And this, I thought, was beautiful.

This is a picture of a large Jesus fish eating a much smaller Darwin
fish. Am I the only one who sees the humour in this?

Why would anyone need a "send" button on an email program? This is
the reason people hate Microsoft.

Wow I'm not, like, even a dog person, but that, is an impressive
amount of dog shit.

I think this is what I look like when I'm being pissy.

The bed I got off craigslist is seriously too small. My feet dangle
off the end and if I want to ever be completley on it I need to sleep
in the fetal position, which, coupled with my blankee PB, makes me
feel like I am five again.

Does this mean that its the holidays so I should accept differences or
that the holidays tend to be very accepting of differences so that if
you're different the end of the year is a very accepting time?

Takes as much time by hand, you should try one, the washing machines
want to be used, that way they win. Not in this house brother.

And the award for most melancholic graffitti goes to!

And I know, with a depressing certainty, that if I do not fold and put
away these clothes right now they will remain on my the floor of my
room and become part it's eco-system for an indeterminate amount of
time. .

I Still know DOS. And that makes me radical.

And I am aware that I have become one of those people who wanders los
angels in their pajamas drinking coffee out of an empty water bottle
during the day. And I am also just fine with this.