This Took Time.

I think I’ve procrastinated in every possible way. I’ve worked out, showered, made a smoothie, gone to the bank, opened up a folder on my desktop, took my meds, paced around the deck, paced around the living room, drank more of the smoothie, watched A History of Violence, did some laundry, checked my email over and over even the junk mail, made some calls, received some calls, talked to the Fam, talked to more of the Fam, checked my ongoing downloads, talked about this thing on Wednesday, ate some veggie chips, ate some snap pea crisps, finished the smoothie and rinsed the blender but didn’t finish cleaning it, looked at the tattoo, wondered what I forgot at Vons , checked my myspace, put a check in the mail or rather prepared a check to be mailed but never actually mailed it, picked up wrinkled laundry late, put on my glasses, took off my glasses, put on my glasses, listened to what I think are crickets, rallied myself for all the things I’m going to do tomorrow, twirled my hair, took off my glasses, tried to shit and couldn’t, considered making another smoothie but discouraged upon seeing Google News, read almost all of Google News, felt personally bad about Beirut until I closed the window, Reclined, Rolled back, UnReclined, made plans in my head, feat my stomach cautiously, decided it’s nothing, ate more snap pea crisps almost finishing them but stopping just short, watched the first 25 minutes of a pirated copy of Syriana only to call friend and ask if it was proper for it to not have subtitles, listened to friend layout an admirable game plan for his new woman, watched internet porn in blasé manner, thought about a woman, smiled a little, decided that tomorrows just going to have to be a get work done day, reminded myself to call other woman but didn’t, sat motionless at my desk letting my eyes blur facing the lower right corner, was conscious of blinking just for an instant, shifted some cards about my desk, wondered if I’m going deaf by listening to the sounds of my room real hard, swallowed and decided it was just the weed, adjusted the speed of my window fan and then for no reason walked into the kitchen leaning into the fridge as if I was buying a train ticket, applied lip balm, remembered that folder on my desktop and began project anew but was sidetracked again by writing this.

Not Fair.

I don't think it's fair that my generation got war without the LSD-fueled AIDS-free-sex. Some part of me thinks war wouldn't be half bad if this was actually the case. I've seen enough naked-hippie footage to know that sex must have happened all the time, and without the real threat of an incurable STD I think I could handle the shock of man's cruelty to man in the arms of three to six women at a time.

Impressive?

This is truly impressive. Our President has driven a Nobel Peace winner to say to a roomful of schoolchildren that she'd "love to kill president Bush". Now, I'm not saying that if I had to pick a roomful of people who, when push came to shove, would choose to hug instead, but if I did, a roomful of Nobel-winners might be them. You know something in the world is fucked when a woman who was selected because of her achievement in the field of peace advocates taking out Tex. And you know something in the world is right when the roomful of schoolchildren then start clapping.

Shoe Shitty.

I've driven past this a number of times on my way down to Irvine, and recently I was lucky enough to have my camera ready. As you can see this place calls itself "Shoe City", yet the building is clearly a castle. Every time I see this I get slightly heated and wonder to myself why they didn't just call it "Castle Shoeskull" or "The British Knights of the Round Table" or even, "Excalishoes". But "Shoe City"... Why? Do they think we're all driving by in 1733 Honda Peasent wondering if the lord of the city might spare a pair of Keds. As if, in the very shoes they sell, we haven't strided well past the need for fortified walls and tower guards.

These we now build in our heads, where it's 1733 all the time.

-Morrison

Loose Ideas.

I've seen a lot of 9/11 related conspiracy stuff, and I have to say, this one is the best. I didn't want to watch the entire thing, but I had a chair, and this bigass monitor and... it just kinda happened.

Grab a Board?

Now that I think we can all agree another world war is coming the big question is, what are you going to do for your country? It's enough to make the Jesus-fearin George W. say a cuss word to Tony Blair, while devouring a bread-roll, that, it seems, has earned more attention from the president than Irak itself.

I for one am developing a new philosophy. I am sitting in my non-air-conditioned room designing the surfboard I'm going to buy for when the Tsunami finally hits. I have stopped trying to fight the coming doom, and started trying to enjoy it. Think of the view of Los Angeles Bay? It'll be magical, all the historic submarine tours into early Hollywood, before it's safe relocation to New Mexico, which some call Mexiwood. That Jaws ride never seemed so terrifying, that's a real shark Juanito, and it's radioactive.

Like my love for you.

-Morrison

The Russian Disruption

Watch Vladimir "Funny Bear" Putin hand the gauntlet to our own George "Party Prince" Bush. My favorite part, "Just Wait". Oh the power of this man.

And just cause I can, watch the champ kiss a young boy on the belly.

Huh?

Honestly I don't even know what to think anymore. In reading a number of historical documentaries, I have been very impressed with the relative intellect of our presidents. Even Nixon, for all his crookedness, was an incredibly smart man and felt like, sans shady, he deserved to be the President of the United States. Bush just feels like a farm-hand, tendin to the country while all the back-door-barn-plannin happens by lightening and candlewick. I simply cannot get over what a simpleton this man is, and how, because of seeing themselves in our president, our country laughs it off because they themselves do not want to seem stupid.

Frankly it happens whenever I see Bill Clinton, that chill up my back. Something primitive, I suppose as an alpha myself, literally twists my spine reminding me that Clinton (who I still honor), is not our leader, and this gum-faced rich kid IS. I cannot reconcile myself to how angry this makes me, because Bush, I think, is everything that's wrong with white people - and our country, is pretty OK with all of it. The concrete had decayed out of the mold, and America's roots of steel and pride have been eaten away, often by a literal mouth.

We need to be reminded that this was a country founded by the smartest legislators this world has ever seen. We only grew because our founding fathers were not deadbeat dads, and didn't have a tendency to get drunk and piss in the flower pot. Then find Christ, and pretend it never happened. This douche, has done just that.

One Small Step

I am convinced we are one step closer to the Armageddon that we were yesterday. Apparently a tornado has hit the Saw Mill Parkway, a very-fun-to-drive little stretch just 20 minutes of Manhattan. I myself have driven it many times, and not one have I said to myself "oh shit a tornado". But now I would not be so suprised.

Japaneasy

I think I'd mind having Crohn's Disease less if I was Japanese, at least according to this hilarious potty training video. I wonder if the kid minds that whenever he has to use the bathroom his parents bust in and start singing. Reminds me so much of my childhood.

Watch it to the end, trust me it's worth it.

Family Fun

Its funny, I think, looking at old family photos – knowing how everything turned out for everyone in the picture. “Ahh, she split, he died, they don’t ever look that happy.” It’s funnier still to think that these simple rearrangements are as random as the ones you just rambled through, and you might be in the process of a shift as you spoke.

Maybe that’s why I take so many pictures, because the photos both prove I experienced something and allow me to re-experience that something all from the safety of my safe little bunker. I made it out, and am mostly ok, with that little swab of history, forever.

And then some would say I spend far too much time in my own head, and need to emerge and do shit every once and awhile. I, usually putting something in standby, will laugh to myself because they don’t understand what happens “out there” affects those of is “in here” and sometimes what happens “out there” is bad enough that all of us “in here” might wind up getting re-arranged just like one of those ex-girlfriends of uncles in so many faded family photos.

This is usually the time I stop making sense to people and surf off into my own spirograph of reasoning I don’t need to get into here. And won’t. But that photo stuff, deep waters, seriously, chew on it, see what you come up with.

Don't Hassle the Hoff

I can't quite explain the beauty of David Haselhoff's new video "Jump in my Car." I think I'll let the Hoff do it for me.

No, no, I was wrong - his shirt reading "Don't hassle the Hoff" may be the funniest thing I've ever seen. Even Oedipus could see that it's so funny.

Ride It!!

Subway Rider Sliced in Power Saw Attack

This is a large reason that I'm glad I left New York. It's not that I ever felt that I'd be the victim of a crazed subway rider's powersaw(s), it's just that, in New York, it might happen. And, as the article says, this dude was holding a teddy bear during the attack. Imagine living that one down. "Yeah, just getting on the A-Train, and this crazy MF runs up on me with two power saws and a teddy ruxpin son!"

Not this guy.