I am moving tomorrow and Suday. If any of my fine frends out there
would like to help in exchange for cough cough, food, and booze, email
me. So much love.

The Fully Sick Rapper. Amazing. THIS is what you should do when you get sick : http://ping.fm/5WqqE

And my 12-year-relationship with Crapital One has ended. 30% APR... Suck it.

So based on this image I'm supposed to think about banging a dripping-
wet cherry? No wonder To Catch A Predator has so many episodes... (pic)

Above all else though, I am grateful.

Every living thing wants to hump.

I have finally gone Mac, and I finally get it. Windows 7 is the best
OS pc's will ever have, but a pc isn't a Mac. Jesus this kool-aid
tastes good...

The Google Buzz video is over 100,000 views and is holding solid at a
five-star rating. Thank you to everybody.

On the set of sixgun. (pic of me)

HOLY S&#T - the GOOGLE BUZZ video is currently ranking #1 on HuffPo's
list of Buzz Jabs! LINK :
http://ping.fm/FogDp

Speed skating is like NASCAR for people.

Early cell phones looked like ghostbuster proton packs, which would
explain the whole "Who you gonna call?" thing.

People like Macs because Macs like people.

Men watch sports becuase it's reassuring watching people doing amazing
things.

Tiger is half black and half Asian. He cheated all over the place and
feels real bad.

The dodgier the Mexican place the better the food. Look honey a dead
guy! Best enchilada ever.

Holy smokes! The Google Buzz video is at 50k views! Please keep
passing on love you all! : http://ping.fm/Jkfkv

I'll be at the Whitehorse Ranch in Yucca all weekend shooting a
revenge film. Lots of blood. And revenge. Stay tuned for ongoing
wild-west coverage. - Silas

Forgetting weed is so redundant.

The GOOGLE BUZZ VIDEO is at 25,000 views on YouTUBE - keep em' coming! : http://ping.fm/asV3h

My new video. Sorry Google...

Can't read the email? View it HERE.

Hello all my many friends out there. So, you’re reading the subject line and you’re like “A new video?! No Whey!” As you now well know, I have a new video burning up the inter-place. In it I play a smarmy Google exec talking about the latest inter-timesuck, Google Buzz. The video was done with my pals at comedy.com and we’ve been on YouTUBE for 1 day and are already changing how people feel about comedy as a whole. So take another 2-minute chunk out of your already wasted workday and click on the play video link below : Thank you all. - Ben Morrison WEBSITE : http://www.benmorrison.org SCHEDULE: http://www.benmorrison.org/live FACEBOOK : http://www.facebook.com/benmorrison TWITTER : http://www.twitter.com/benthemorrison

UNSUBSCRIBE HERE

My new video about GOOGLE BUZZ got over 14,000 views in one day.
Please give it a watch and pass it on if you LOL. :
http://ping.fm/ugNVb

Incredible - this isn't a painting but a real-life model :
http://ping.fm/xUVN3
(pic)

Crikey - I just saw a picture of Ebert with jaw-cancer, he is NOT
looking well. My thoughts and thumbs are with you buddy!

I have two Epson printers, one larger than the other. The big one
complains less than the little one, but they're both quite the
whiners.

PLS WATCH watch my NEW COMEDY.COM VIDEO where I play a Google Buzz spokesperson - LOLZ! : http://ping.fm/MOJpF

These were the owner of Sit N' Sleep's last words bride plumetting of
a cliff. (pic)

No whey! : (pic)

I think living with a girl is going to make me see roaches less as pets and more as problems.

This family, has been framed : http://ping.fm/mf46i (pic)

Behind every great man is a great woman. Especially if he's gettin' a
reach-around.

In Los Angeles the more impressive the car is the less impressive the
man driving it is too.

The name of this hummus is kinda turning me on... (pic)

Based on the way evolution works it's safe to say that some pretty
ef'd up things happened to these trees when they were young. (pic)

Craigslist is the lowest common de-personator.

Crazy people really like that hospital gown look.

Birds are like fish for the air.

Cantonese Boy. Welcome to the parody song you're going to have stuck in your head for a long time... : http://ping.fm/p2QYu (vid)

For all you nerds out there - time to get a boner bitches! Black Hole simulation! omgomg : http://ping.fm/892ck (vid)

Ahhh blunts, the joint of the working-class.

PT Crusiers look like a hippo preparing to be taken from the rear.

Failure to launch - HaHaHa : http://ping.fm/CdpyG (pic)

"Twitter, my cute-new-wife. Just met hot little Google Buzz and am
taking off for the weekend. Still love you, will buzz, er tweet soon."
- Ben

I am a wealth of useless filler.

Ohjesus. Google has it's own twitter-like social network. What the hell? I'm already connected to six quadrillion people online and spend whole days sitting on this futon wondering what the hell I'm doing with all these 'connections'. Oh christ lord I am lonely... Please, please someone come knock on my door so that I might talk to theeeeee.....

A - amazing - flash app that shows that size, is relative... : http://ping.fm/FQqYI (link)

Who remembers the spinning HBO logo sequence from the 80's? Best intro ever right? Here's how it was made : http://ping.fm/aKsjN (vid)

This is the proper way to deal with a blizzard : http://imgur.com/f53xz (pic)

I think I might actually be the first app store intervention.

This is a thrilling sports moment : http://imgur.com/hi6Lf (pic)

I sure hope someone wins the Super Bowl today!

Time-lapse video, 12 inches of show fall in 2 seconds. Very cool : http://ping.fm/OVDiD (vid)

I love YOU.

All I want is for the Jersey Shore kids to like me.

'Jersey Shore' Spawns Style Following

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Hair gel and hair extensions, tanning and
True
Religion jeans, Ed Hardy T-shirts and eyebrow threading. It's fashion,
"Jersey Shore"-style. MTV's hit...

http://ping.fm/z5w3G - One day I hope to be in a remake of
this... (pic)

I guess this is what they'd call Armenian Nutella... (pic)

You have to get to know me to find out I'm sain.

Kitchen Nightmares making me cry on a Thursday morning... Goddamnit
all I ever wanted was Gordon Ramsay's love...

Am I a bad person for doubling up on te samples at Trader Joe's, or am
I just human?

I've done a lotta drugs, and I gotta say, the next rave I'm going to,
I'm doing Alka-Seltzer Cold. It's like MDMA that clears your sinuses.

Cold medicine doesn't actually fight your cold, it puts you in orbit
while your body does.

I am at LAUGH FACTORY Hollywood tonight @ 8:00 - I got FREE TIX. Email
comps@benmorrison.org ASAP and i'll RSVP son. Peaz - B.

Free tix to my Laugh Factory show tonight.

Can't read the email? View it HERE.

Yes art is poop, but then, the poop must flow… I’m @ the Hollywood Laugh Factory this evening (feb/02) @ 8:00, and I have free tickets for all the people whom I love  (you). I will be doing my comedy-thin with Bob Oschack, Natasha Leggero, Jim Tavare and the wonderful Al Madrigal. If you’d like to be in on this bonanza, simply email comps@benmorrison.org ASAP with your names and plusses and I will RSVP ASAP. Then show up and laugh your face off. Oh and keep March 5th open – I’m having a MASSIVE DVD release party @ Jane’s House for my new Comedy Album “Theater Degree”. You will know. But for tonight – come on out. It’s free. It’s me. It’s We. - Morrison

UNSUBSCRIBE HERE

Im hosting the Hollywood Laugh Factory tonight @ 8:00 and I got free
tickets. Email comps@benmorrison.org and I'll send you a RSVP.
All-star lineup son. - ben

The weirder the face you make when you masturbate, the better it winds
up feeling...

We. Are. Insignificant : http://ping.fm/zfRPc (LINK)